Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Josh: Have you ever felt like you should know what to do next but you still feel stuck? You know you're called, you're trying to be obedient. You want to move forward in your family, leadership, ministry, business or whatever God has put in your hands. But somehow the next step still feels cloudy. The good news is that God is never silent, even though it might feel that way sometimes. The reason clarity feels hard is because we are trying to get direction before we are grounded in identity.
In this episode, we're talking about why identity in Christ brings clarity for leaders who are asking God, what is my next step?
If you're tired of leading others while secretly battling doubt, discouragement and mental warfare
[00:00:47] Corina: and you want practical tools to renew your mind and walk boldly in your calling as a leader, you're in the right place.
[00:00:53] Josh: Welcome to believe and become.
[00:00:55] Corina: We're Josh and Corina your spirit filled coaches, here to help you overcome those limiting beliefs and lead others confidently.
[00:01:02] Josh: If you're ready to hear God's voice voice more clearly to step into your purpose and find joy and strength in
[00:01:07] Corina: the everyday silence, those Bible app reminders judging you from your lock screen and let's jump in.
I don't know if you've noticed, but I kind of have a big personality.
Sometimes I'm a little loud.
And growing up, I kind of let that shine. As I got older, there were situations that I would find myself in where I stuck my foot in my mouth, like real bad or where I said something and somebody just like it offended them and it started to cause me to feel like I'm just a little bit too much, like maybe I need to tone it down, maybe I need to not always say what I think, which isn't a bad thing. But what happened was it caused me to shrink back.
And alongside that lie of I'm too much was this other kind of sneakier lie that I'm not enough, that maybe what I carry isn't what's needed in the situation or maybe it's not gonna bring me through to what I've been called to do. And so there was this like, almost dichotomy of I'm too much and I'm not enough. I'm too much and I'm not enough. And so I was constantly gauging what, how to behave, how to talk, what to share when I'm with other people, trying to determine am I offending them, am I hurting their feelings, am I coming on too strong?
And then also at the same time, like, I just can't measure up and so it was really a tricky time for me to.
To lead because I was just so shrunk back into myself where I would even be in conversation with people where I would normally just be like, oh, no, this is what I think. And I just. There were no words. I didn't even know what to say because I had just kind of squashed that part of me for so long.
And I think this is what happens when we don't really know who we are. It's one thing to just be who you are, you know, especially as a child. Most of the time you can't really help with that. It just comes out. But you learn really quickly.
That's not always appropriate. So there was kind of this difference of like, well, if it's not appropriate, maybe then that part of me isn't acceptable either. And so I just constantly struggled with this for a long time until I realized that those things are lies. They're things that have been put on me by other people, but not really what God thinks about me or says about me. Because when I approached him, when I started to talk to him about just how I was feeling in any given situation, it was always like, Corina I'm enough. So you're enough.
You're not too much for me. I can handle all your feelings. I created you this way, you know. And so it's just this constant reminder from my father that I made it in his image and I carry part of him that other people don't carry. And so as I began to kind of redefine those areas of myself through the lens of the truth that God was speaking to me, then I could begin to lead with more confidence again. And I could step back into my confidence as a leader and have clarity as to where he was taking me without allowing what other people think or how they respond to really dictate that. It doesn't mean that I'm like full on all the time or I'm just telling people what I think. No, there is a grace, I think, that comes to allow you to be who God made you to be in any given situation that's not going to hurt people or, you know, offend and step on toes. Sometimes there will be things where you have to speak the truth in love and that might offend people. But following your father and doing life with him, you get that approval that you need and the, the almost like that stamp of like, well done, you know, even when other people don't receive it well, even when you totally mess up, like you have the Safety of his voice over you. And so I think it's really important for leaders to dig into what God says about you as a person, who you are, who he made you to be, so that you can begin to lead from that place instead of all the voices around you.
[00:05:26] Josh: Yeah, I love how you're talking about the lens. That's so critical. We all have a lens how we view our circumstances and especially our past things that happen to us. We think we have the right interpretation of that. You know, we think, okay, that event happened to me, and so therefore, that defines me. That's how people reacted to me. And so then we'll shrink back or we get bigger or, you know, we try to compensate for that. And really, that's dangerous because we don't have an accurate lens. We can't see like God can see from his perspective. And allowing him to redefine those things is key for us to move forward in our identity.
Otherwise, we're going to always view things as, okay, I messed up, I'm not enough, or people don't like this about me. I need to hide that. But when we bring it to the Father and say, God, how did you view this thing that happened to me? How do you view this circumstance? We invite him into that process and allow him as our heavenly Father to speak into that and to show us the truth and say, actually, that had nothing to do with you. You know, that does not define you. I get to define you. That aspect of your personality. You're big and loud and boisterous. I made you that way for a reason.
That's on purpose. And I want to use that for my glory and for your benefit. But until we go through that process of allowing God to really define our identity, we're going to have a clouded view on ourselves and on the world around us.
[00:06:58] Corina: Yeah, and I think a lot of that comes from. I was just thinking how you said where something happens and then we let it define us. I think a lot of times we think we know what the other person is saying or how they're responding based on what we're getting from them, when in reality, we don't know for certain what is going on inside of them. And so we. We. We have that lens, right, of this is what they meant, this is how they felt, this is what they thought. And instead we could say, okay, like now, when something kind of awkward happens, or I'm like, I think I came on too strong and that person was maybe a little scared of me, I can go, okay, how. How can I approach them in a better way next time. Or maybe I could ask them, hey, I'm sorry if I came on a little strong.
Sometimes that happens, you know, just let me know. Or, like, we can gauge people's feedback or we can ask them what's going on instead of automatically assuming, like, they didn't like me. I'm the worst, right? And we have this lens that we see other people's reactions through. If we are allowing ourselves to believe the lies that we've either been told or told ourselves for so long.
[00:08:11] Josh: And that's why it's so important that we're going to God every single day. We need to hear him say how much he loves us. We need to ask him, what do you think about me? What do you love about me? When we ask those questions, we invite God in and he gets to define us instead of us or other people. We'll try to get our identity from any, all sorts of other places. And those are. None of those are healthy. And especially if you didn't have a father growing up that imparted true identity to you, like if you have struggled with your relationship with your father, that can be very difficult because, you know, whatever your dad said to you or if your dad wasn't around, you didn't get your identity from the right place. And we actually, that's why we have a heavenly Father. That is, he's really the true source of our identity. And it's in his word. He speaks to us over and over again about who we are.
We're loved, we're chosen, we're called, we're equipped, we're led by the Holy Spirit. And when we know this, we can stop making those decisions out of striving or from fear or from comparing with others or this pressure to perform to. I have to behave a certain way for people to like me or for God to love me. That's even more dangerous. A lot of times. I spent a lot of my life trying to make up for my own perceived inadequacies, for mistakes I had made. I was trying to live a perfect life so that God would love me so I could earn his favor. And it wasn't until I had just a profound encounter with the deep, deep love of God the Father for me, where he came in and said, you know what? I love you even when you mess up. I knew all the mistakes you were going to make, and I still chose you. And he chooses you today, and you are his son, his daughter. He is well pleased in you, just like he said over his son, Jesus. He views you the same way, just like he does his son Jesus. He is pleasing you. You don't have to earn his love.
And that is. That's freedom. We just get to be with our heavenly Father and we get to work with him instead of for Him. That's a story I've told several times on the podcast, but it is huge. It changes our complete perspective. We're not servants. We don't have to serve God. We get to work with him as his children.
[00:10:26] Corina: Yeah. I think that's why it's important that we start from love, from that place of I am loved, because when I know I am loved, I behave differently. When I know I'm loved, I lead differently. I have more confidence. I know that God's behind me, that he's got my back, you know, and so I think that can also affect when we're looking to the future. What. Where am I going? God, where are you taking me? Where do you want me to lead this ministry? Where? How do you want me to lead my family? Are we staying here? Are we moving on? We have all these questions, and we always. I think we always lead with the question. We think the question is the most important decision. Right. Right now. I need to know this. It has to happen by. And we have this, like, timeline, and this. It creates this stress inside of us. But when I live in the love of the Father, I know that he's going to direct my next step. And when I remember the way that he's led me in the past, I know he's going to lead me in the future. And so when I live in that place of love, when you live in that place where you know you're loved, you know you're chosen, you believe God is directing my steps, and he has come through every single time. He's not gonna fail me now. You. You don't need the whole plan. You can be happy with the next step and, you know, in confidence that he directs my steps. He orders my path. He is guiding me every step of the way. And you can begin to declare those things in any situation with confidence, knowing God is gonna lead me because I am his beloved child. That piece of knowing I am loved, it doesn't just affect the way I lead in the moment, but the way I lead into the future as well.
[00:12:04] Josh: This idea of the father's love is so critical. It is so critical. It's not. A good parent doesn't sit their child down and go, okay, we're going to have a conversation. I Want you to pay very close attention.
I love you. I'm never going to tell you that again. You have to know it for the rest of your life. That's not a good parent. And it's the same way with our heavenly Father. He doesn't sit us down and go, okay, I love. You should know that. That should be good enough. No, it's every day, multiple times per day, he wants to pour out his love over you. And so if you have. If you're not hearing that on at least a daily basis, you need to just go and ask him. It's not hard. You don't have to do anything. Like I said, you don't have to do anything to earn it. You just sit down with and go, God, what do you love about me? Just surround me with your love. I love. Corina was talking about the Holy Spirit is our comforter, but. And she was in her bed, and she goes, oh, the Holy Spirit's my physical, like my comforter on my bed. And she's like, I get to be wrapped up in his presence. Just do that. Allow him to wrap you up in his loving, perfect presence. And then his perfect love casts out all fear.
We don't have to be afraid. We don't have to be afraid. We're gonna get it wrong. And it reframes the way that we see things that don't go the right way. Because often, like, we launched an entire marriage course ministry one summer, and a couple of our friends did it, and no one else purchased it. And that felt like, oh, my gosh, we got it wrong. We heard what God was saying wrong. Oh, we messed up. And if we had really, like, sat in that, we would have gone, we really got it wrong. We didn't hear God right. We're never gonna try this again. But instead, we knew that we were loved. We knew that we hear God well, and he was teaching us something through that process of building this marriage ministry, this marriage course.
But it turns that mistake into, okay, God had something in that. God show us. And we learned a ton about how to make a course, how to market things, how to build website, how to get all our tools set up so that the next one was so much easier. And we kind of realized maybe that's not what we're really super passionate about. And then that led us to what we're doing today, which we are super passionate about. God can reframe those mistakes. Sometimes he even asks us to do stuff that maybe is not going to work out.
And that's because so There was no failure. You did exactly what you were supposed to do. He was like, I'm not leading you into this to fail, but I'm leading you into this to learn and to grow and to trust that you really do hear me. Right? And you as a leader, you hear God. Well, he is leading you and maybe you felt like you messed it up.
He's got lots of stuff for you to learn in those mistakes. You can get excited when, oh, that didn't work out the way but that I thought it was going to. But God is still speaking to me. He's still leading me. Look at what I learned from this process.
[00:15:06] Corina: Yeah, I think you could say that success equals obedience. Like obedience is God's goal. His goal is always our character. It's not really about the outcome or the destination with God. It's always about our hearts, our character, who he's creating us to be and developing that muscle of obedience. You obeyed me. It didn't go quite how you thought. But will you believe that I'm leading you and continue to walk in obedience? That's huge. And it's really, I think most often what God is after is all about the journey.
[00:15:40] Josh: So maybe if you're struggling with, I don't know, my identity, I don't know if I feel God's love or I'm struggling with hope in a particular area of my life. We have created a free hope quiz on our website joshandkarina.com coaching you can take that free hope quiz and it will help you identify where's maybe an area where you could use a little more hope and it'll give you some insight into what's going on internally, into your internal state.
And once you take that hope quiz, you actually get the opportunity to meet with us for a free 15 minute consultation to go over your results and help you come up with a plan to increase hope in that area of your life. It's completely free, no obligation. Please check that out on our website joshandkarina.com coaching we want you to be free, overflowing with hope in every area of your life. Because that's God is the God of all hope and he wants to give that to you. So check that out. Joshandkarina.com coaching take our free hope quiz. We'd love to meet with you and look at those results.
[00:16:46] Corina: Okay, let's get practical and talk about the action steps for really finding your identity in God's love. The first step is to ask God, is there a lie I'm believing or what Am I believing? That's making this feel confusing. Why can't I see a clear picture here? I think it's important. Important that we recognize it's not like we said, it's not always about the outcome or the destination. God is really interested in what's going on inside. And so we want to start from that place of show me if there's a lie I'm believing. Because really what we're doing is we're digging down below the surface of whatever's happening so that you can actually find some breakthrough in this area. So some common lies might be. I'm not qualified.
I'm not ready. God is asking me to do this big, huge thing, and I'm just not ready. Or maybe it's too late. I'm too old. I'm too young. There's like a thousand.
It's too late. I already chose this other career.
I could never do that. Or maybe I'm gonna miss God. I took that step. I tried that thing. It didn't work. And I thought, I'm never gonna try anything ever again. I'm never gonna try again. Right. Or have to get this but perfect. If I don't do it exactly right, then God's not going to come through. Or you have to do my part.
No.
And then the, you know, the. The kind of. The biggest one. I think I'm not enough.
[00:18:09] Josh: That is the one.
[00:18:10] Corina: That's the one I think we, most of us struggle with, that I'm not enough. God wants me to do something, and I'm. I don't think I can do it. I'm not enough.
And it's funny because I think about when we first started talking about having kids, and Josh was like, I don't know how to be a parent. We don't have enough money. Like, it was just like this whole barrage of. It's not. We're not enough. We're not ready. We don't know how to do this. I don't make enough money for this.
How are we gonna. You know, it was like so many, but under all of that is like, I don't know if I can live up. I don't know if I'm enough to raise this little person. Sometimes I think we have to step into those things before we know if we're ready or if we are enough. Because, you know, we. And we waited. We waited several years before we started having kids. But we have to be at some point, either dig. Dig up those lies, or we have to just do it scared. And so I think it's much easier if you start with a lie if you uncover that lie first before you go having babies. So if you want to move forward in your calling, you're really gonna have to move past those identity lies that are holding you back. Because that is the thing when we don't believe we are who God says we are. You know, like Gideon, right? He's like, the angel comes and he's like, mighty man of valor. And Gideon's like, no, sorry, you have the wrong guy. I'm like, the least in my family, the least in my clan. Like, no, no, no, not me. And the angel actually had to walk him through the process of truly believing that this is who God says you are before he could step into his destiny. And so we really need that. We need to know, God, is there a lie? I'm believing so. So that we can break agreement with it.
[00:19:53] Josh: And that's what we're going to do. We're just going to break agreement with the lie. Say, I renounce this lie. I'm not going to partner with it anymore.
I nail it to the cross. And then I like to just imagine handing it to Jesus, maybe, you know, God, show me what that lie looks like. I'm going to box it up and hand it to Jesus. Jesus, what do you want to do with that lie? And he usually does something really fun, like you'll blow it up or smash it or shoot it out into space.
He has a great sense of humor. Sometimes if it's a really deep, difficult lie that you've been dealing with for a long time. He's actually very precious with it. And sometimes he's like, you know what? I'm just going to take this from you, and I'm going to take really good care of it. You don't have to worry about it anymore. And it's beautiful when Jesus does that. And it breaks the power that that lies held onto you for way too long.
And so we just break agreement with it, and then we're going to go to the next step, which is just asking God for. For the truth. God, what is the truth you want to give me in place of this lie? And you can just put out your hands and receive it as a gift. It's free.
But the truth is so powerful because we know the truth. It sets us free. And that's what God does in our lives. When we give him those lies, he's going to replace them with the truth. I used to think that we just don't think the lie. I got Rid of the lie. I'm not thinking. I'm not going to think that. I'm not going to think. That never worked for me.
What I had to do was get rid of that lie that I was believing and then replace it with the truth. When the lie pops back up, we say, no, I'm not partnering with you. I see you there. I see what you're trying to do. You gotta go, here's the truth that God gave me, and replace that. And then it's just a process of repeating, that being intentional, to reprogram the way our brains think. We're developing new neural pathways, and it takes a little bit of time, but eventually you're gonna go. Something beautiful will come out of your mouth, the truth that you've been practicing. And you're gonna react totally, totally different to a situation than you used to. And that's when you know that that renewing of the mind from Romans 12:2 has truly transformed you.
[00:21:54] Corina: Yeah, I had a client recently.
We were working through some beliefs that she had about kind of a rough situation that she had gotten through. And I said, okay, I want you just to see the lie. Like, close your eyes and imagine what the lie looks like. And she was like, okay. And. And she's. She's someone who believes that she hears from God and she knows how to hear from God. So. But she was like, this is kind of weird. And I'm like, that's okay. Just tell me. She's like, okay. You said, first thing that pops in your head. So I'm gonna tell you. She said, I saw. I see a scraggly cat. Like, a scraggly black cat that just looks like it's been electrocuted.
And I was like, okay, that's fun. Let's go with that. And so when she gave the light to Jesus, I said, what is Jesus doing with your life? And you. And I thought, this is gonna be weird because, like, Josh said, it's usually like, oh, he's like, you know, nailing it to the cross. Or, like, it's disappearing, or, you know, it's sometimes a little bit like he's shooting in the basket, like it's throwing it away. But she said.
She just started crying.
And she said, he's taking care of it. He's grooming it. He's making it beautiful.
And it was this.
This part of her. This. The cat really wasn't necessarily the lie, but it represented her believing the lie. And it was like, jesus isn't harsh with you. He's not gonna throw you away or what he says about you. But he's gonna come in and he's gonna care for you tenderly, and he's gonna love you. It was just the sweetest moment and it was completely unexpected to both of us, which I love when God does stuff like that, really. She was like, I hear God, but I never could have thought that he would say this. Like, I never would have thought of him giving me this picture. And it was just so beautiful. And then when she. We received the truth and I said, okay, ask Jesus for a gift. He. She. She was like, oh, my gosh. Like, tears again. She's like, I wasn't expecting to cry today, but it was just this beautiful symbol of his love for her. And it just. It has completely changed everything. Like, she's. I just got an update from her. She is moving. She's like. She's like. People are noticing the change just from one encounter with Jesus. He changes everything. The truth really changes everything about us and about, really how we see ourselves, because we can begin to see ourselves in our lives through his perspective.
[00:24:19] Josh: That's so good. That's why we do this. We just love encountering God with people and seeing lives changed. It's incredible what he does when we just are intentional. Say, I'm going to go after lies. I'm going to get rid of them. I'm going to replace them with truth. God always shows up so powerfully. He's so passionate about it. I was just thinking about Jesus. When he goes into the wilderness to be tempted by the enemy, he's just asking all these questions. If you are the son of God, he's questioning his identity over and over again. Can't you do this? Call the angels.
He's attacking our identity. And so many of us live with these little chinks in our identity armor, and we don't realize that we have those little weak spots, those vulnerable spots, and that they're created by lies that we've partnered with. But all we have to do is break agreement with them, replace them with the truth. It's not hard. It's an easy process that you can do, especially around identity. We just like to go to God and ask him, impart identity to me.
Ask him, who do you say I am right now for this season?
What I need to do in this season?
Stop asking, what do I need to do? Or why is this so hard? Why? Questions are the worst. We don't need to ask those. Just God, what do I need to know? Who do you say I am?
And write it Down. Renew your mind. God says, I'm a mighty warrior. I was born to set people free, to lead the captives from into freedom, to break chains. And then you can just say that over yourself. God told me this, it's got to be true, even if I'm not seeing it right now in my circumstances today. So we just renew our minds with the truth over and over again until that has so much more power than any lie I used to believe. Everything that happens to me, I see it through the view of what does God say about this? Not what I used to think, not what my circumstances are telling me. I just have a different lens for how I'm viewing the world and what's going on in it. And God is going to show you who you are, who you're meant to be right now, today, the season that you're walking into. Maybe there's a big project or ministry or something that he's put on your heart to do to help other people.
He's going to tell you, you got this.
I've equipped you, I've given you everything that you need to be successful in this next season. And whether or not it works out how you see it in your mind or how you think it's supposed to look, you're going to be successful because you're doing it with God. Yep.
And so we just want to invite you to check out our Hope Quiz. Joshandkarina.com coaching if you're struggling with an area that feels hopeless or maybe it feels like there's some lies you're believing, this quiz is actually going to help you identify those lies. It's going to help you identify an area of your life that maybe you might want to target and go after more hope for your circumstances, for yourself, for God, for other people.
And take that free Hope quiz, get the results right away and then schedule a 15 minute conversation with us just to go over those results. And let's put together a plan to help you get free and to increase hope in that area of your life and destroy lies, break down strongholds so that you can live in the purpose and the freedom that God has designed you for.
[00:27:46] Corina: Yeah, I think this identity piece, really knowing this is who God called me to be and this is who he says I am. It's so huge for your leadership, but it's so huge just for your life, for everything that you do because you can begin to approach every part of who you are with that security of knowing the truth that God loves me. I am chosen, you are loved. You are chosen. You are his precious son or daughter and he is leading you with his voice and with his heart. And so as you just begin to ponder this, begin to think about it and begin to look for God's voice in your whole day, in every little moment. If you have a quiet moment, God, what do you think about me? Show me your love and begin to look. Because he's going to show you things probably in the natural. He's going to show maybe a billboard, maybe somebody's license plate frame, maybe a text from a friend. He's going to begin to minister to your heart in new ways that are might feel unexpected. But I just see for you a season of being in love with Jesus. He's going to come and woo you to his heart. He's going to draw you close as you draw near to Him. He's going to draw near to you. So I just bless you to fall more in love with God.
Hey friend. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. If so, would you take 30 seconds to share this podcast with someone who may need encouragement or practical tools for fighting their battle?
[00:29:22] Josh: Then rate and review this podcast. Help us spread the message of transformation far and wide.
[00:29:27] Corina: All right, time to walk back into the noise with peace, purpose, and maybe a tiny bit of guessing.
[00:29:32] Josh: We'll meet you back next Thursday for another episode. Bye.
